Reflection of Today....

On the way to school this morning, I really, really wanted to call my dad.  I wanted to talk with him about the fact that I was getting ready to drive up to a school and that there should be no doubt in my mind that I was safe- but more importantly, that all the children in my care were safe.  I wanted to talk to him and tell him how unfair it is that sweet innocent children were killed by the hands of a disturbed individual.  I wanted to tell him that my heart was heavy from the tragedy that occurred just days before in a town I'd never heard of, at a school I'd never heard of, and the names of the victims I'd never heard of.  I realized that I had tears streaming down my face..... boy I miss my dad.

Then I had a thought- yesterday a dear friend, Amy, "challenged" her friends to pray for a specific family of one of the victims.  We were probably all praying for "the families", but Amy's idea was to lift the family up by name.  So several people responded to Amy and selected a particular victim's family to pray for.  I choose Dawn Hochsprung, the principal of Sandy Hook Elementary School.  I prayed for Dawn's husband, her children, her grandchildren, other family and friends before I went to sleep last night and as soon as I awoke today.  Driving down the road, I had the most incredible thought- "what if my dad met up with Dawn and they had a chat?"  My dad would love to talk to Dawn- the vibrant young educator who took on the task of being a principal.  He would love to hear her trials- but most of all- her successes.  He would look at her and proudly tell her that his daughter was an educator, too.  What a great thought that was- although I miss my dad every single day, knowing that he is at peace and without a shadow of a doubt in Heaven and met some sweet angels  and their incredibly brave teachers, behavior therapist, school psychologist, and principal on Friday.

While I miss my dad, I realized that I had no reason to give myself a "pity-party".  I was getting ready to walk through the doors of a wonderful school with the brightest, sweetest, most caring students in the world.  I knew that I would be greeted with smiles and pats on the back from co-workers.  I knew that parents would come by and say "hi" and the many volunteers would be there to do whatever needed to be done.  I was reassured that the forward-thinking Superintendent had secured police presence for each school in the district.  While I never anticipated a day that I would "need" police presence, it was good to know it were there.  I smiled when the police officer introduced himself and then told me that he was the parent of one of the first graders at the school.  I immediately saw his features represented in a sweet little boy's face and could tell him what a cutie his son is. I told him that I could have police presence every day, all day, by the law-enforcement parents of our students alone.  What a blessing that is, too.  The feeling of anguish over the horrific event still sat (and sits) in the pit of my stomach, but I had to gain perspective and realize the gifts I have been given in each and every body that walked through the school doors.  It was up to the adults of our school to model to the students that they were safe at school.  We did just that- and that's another blessing.  We were given a gift today- a day without incident and where children thrived in a safe learning environment.  Thank God for this!

I have been asked by several people in the last few days what I think schools could do to make them more safe.  Interestingly enough, my response is something that will make our world much safer- we need to get right with God!  We need to be a nation in prayer and doing as He wills us to do.  I know that we don't necessarily discuss religion in school, but I know that His presence is at the school where I work.  I am blessed to work with devoted Christians and I believe that we do lift each other up in prayer.  I do not doubt for an instant that every employee at "my" school would risk his/her life trying to protect any harm from coming to our students.  I don't think any amount of security precautions could have stopped what occurred- but I know we have them in place and our students know them, too.  We will continue to practice and think "safety", but more than that, I will pray and encourage others to pray.

Tonight "The Voice" (which I do not watch- a post about reality shows to come soon- but someone posted the clip on YouTube) did a touching tribute to the victims of Sandy Hook.  Seeing the ages of the children- just babies- was heart-wrenching.  Dad- take care of those babies and all of you in Heaven please look out for us.  We still have lots of work to do- let it be pleasing to Him!

 

Randomness about my mom's birthday.......

Today is my mother's birthday. I talked to her yesterday and our conversation has caused me to ponder. I have also had some random thoughts about my mom lately and today I am going to attempt to put these random "crazy-brained" ideas on "paper".

My mom is a busy lady. I finally caught up with her on the phone yesterday, which in and of itself is a rarity! When I was asking mom what she was going to do for her birthday she said that she really doesn't like birthdays- the day itself. She said that the day makes her sad. She enjoys the other pieces that go with birthdays, but just not the day itself. Since I didn't want to press and chance both of us in tears, I told her I understood and we went on with more cheerful planning of how we would celebrate together.

After our good-byes and last night, I thought about how she would feel sad for her birthday. I realized then it is because birthdays are for celebrating with..... family. And our family of five became three in just a few short years. I think about that my mom grows older but faces it with less people in her life to surround her with love. I can't begin to imagine how the day reminds her that her oldest daughter died before her and what a traumatic experience burying a child must be. She was/is my sister, but she grew in my heart, not inside my body. And then there is my sweet daddy. My mom and dad defied the odds and remained married for forty-three years and he was taken from her. I can imagine not having a card "from Me" is sad. Although I understand that it must be sad, I wish her nothing but the best and am SO glad that she is still with me on this earth. I don't know what I would do without her.

I am much more of a "list" person, so here are some things that make my mom so special:

* My mom is grace under fire. She is NEVER going to say or do the wrong thing. She is always going to smile and make sure no one gets their feeling's hurt, take another bite of the food even though it tastes horrible (or like pure nicotine), act gracious even when she doesn't "feel" it, and is never going to talk badly about anyone. When my sisters and I would get into one of our "kicks" and may say some unkind (and rather funny) statements about someone....mother would just shake her head and laugh and say "you girls". I don't know how she deals with me because I am just like my dad- when it comes to mind, it usually comes out of mouth. Not always the popular things or the "right" things to say, but we did. We never intend to hurt anyone's feelings, but sometimes that might be a consequence. Not my mom- which is a wonderful trait. She can be counted on to listen without judgement and she will always be invited back to someone's house!

* My mom can cook and bake like no one I have ever seen or met. Those tv people have nothing on her. She takes time to really think through what someone would want/like and takes the extra steps to make things "perfect". She will throw away a cake if it isn't just right...which I have told her I would happily dispose of as long as it tastes good...as it always does. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, which I didn't appreciate at the time, but now know how rare and wonderful that was. She made dinner EVERY night and we sat down and ate at the table between 6 and 7 each evening. My mother was born and raised in New York so we were exposed to various foods and not typical southern meals. That may be why I never knew what a "grit" was until I was well into my teens (and still don't eat them), and we didn't have typical Sunday "dinner" which is a major meal in the middle of the day on Sunday... no, we had a simple lunch because Sunday is the Sabbath and you didn't cook or wash clothes, or mow the grass on Sunday. Remember too, we didn't have a big extended family, so there was no need for 2 meats, 5 sides, biscuits, pudding, etc. for us. Besides the fact that one of "us girls" eats no vegetables, one eats no meat, and one was in-between. Can you imagine how frustrating that would be? Although we were not going to complain- dad made sure we didn't because mom had spent time making the food. Mom was pretty good about it- she would let us exchange food across plates and turn away as I hid peas in my napkin. Gosh, wonder who it is that doesn't eat vegetables?

* She taught us etiquette and made us use our manners. We knew that no one was ever to call between 6 and 7 because that is the "dinner hour" , you don't ever say "huh", and if you have to expel gas you have to do it in another room (clearing throat and thinking of the Brown family visit), etc. etc.

* Mother really has a thing about the English language. When you respond on the phone, the proper way is "this is she" not "this is her". I can't tell you to this day how to pronounce "hanger" because I do it wrong every time. She has tried to explain it, but I just can't grasp it. Has something to do with what part of the word to stress. I just tell her I am way too southern for her and it's her fault- she had me in the south and raised me in the south, so what can she expect. Oh, oh, oh... don't forget that you don't end a sentence with a preposition. That is very important. :)

* My mother grew up on a farm. This is a good thing because she made sure that "us girls" never had to grow a single crop, plant, milk a cow, or anything that was associated with farming. That is a good thing for me- because I sure don't like to touch dirt and don't like animals. She also made sure that we stayed in the south because she never ever wanted to be cold again. So much so that she has made us promise not to bury her because she doesn't want to be in the cold ground. Gotta love it! We are going to put her in a vault and keep her warm. When Shelly and I go shopping, we will stop by to visit. Although, I am hoping that is not for many, many, many years to come!

* My mom loves us unconditionally. She loves my child as much as she possibly can, however, I love the fact that when it comes down to it, Shelly, Kim and I are "her girls" and we count most. She has put up with more drama than anyone should have to. She can gently laugh as we reminisce over some of the more dramatic events, especially when we discuss how much one of us "loved a good wedding". She never judges us and as different as we are, she loves us each and takes us at face value. When we fall, she picks us back up. When we hurt, she hurts with us. Most importantly, my mom prays for us.

* My mom lives a Godly life. She made sure to have us in church and even as a teenager made sure that if I was spending the night with a friend on Saturday night that she picked me up for Sunday School and church services on Sunday morning. It didn't matter that I was the only teenager in the whole church, I needed to be at church. What a great thing to be able to say now. When I went to a Presbyterian college, I knew my mom would be proud. I really do love the Presbyterian denomination and wish there was a Presbyterian church locally to worship in, but my mom taught us that we needed to feel good about our church and find the right one. Church isn't just something to show up to on Sunday morning for everyone to "see" you, it is a place that believers join together to worship and praise. My mom served as an Elder in our church for more years than I can count. What a role model- I feel certain that when she first became an elder that there had not been many females before her. I can honestly say that sometimes I was jealous and bratty about the time she spend at church and with church events, but now I am so proud of the fact that I can say that my mom loves her church and her God and I know she is blessed and highly favored. When judgement day comes, her lists of rights will surpass her lists of wrongs. I think the faith goes back to the first point I made- her faith gives her a peace and grace that is truly fitting for her.

* My mom can manage money. She taught us a very valuable character trait that you don't talk about money- it's just tacky. You don't need to discuss it and brag- it doesn't do anything but make you look "cheap" no matter how much you make! My mom stayed at home and my dad worked and I feel certain that times were not always easy, but my mom made sure we had what we needed and would save so we could have that pair of "Calvin Klein" jeans or some fancy boots three girls were happy to get one Christmas. She taught us not to live beyond our means and that is not always easy, but she did teach us! Credit cards are a no-no. If you can't pay for it, you don't need it. I think her faith is all a part of this, too. I guess the Christian living should have been my first point. Seems that everything leads back to that.

* One of Shelly's friends called my mom a "hottie". This wasn't too many years ago. She is a beautiful woman. She wasn't brought up easy and pampered and she isn't afraid to paint, remodel a house, peel up ten layers of flooring, or any other manual labor, but she is still pretty. I think she resembles Lady Diana. Mother will be truly embarrassed that I just said that. She is very conservative and classy and is always on the lookout for the perfect pair of black slacks. She doesn't dress too young and is a petite thing so she could totally wear lots of things in her size, but she is a believer (as am I) that just because it comes in your size doesn't mean you should wear it.

Last night I had a dream about a birthday..... at the time I thought it was my birthday, but I remember that my sister Kim was there and had given a neat little gift and was apologizing that it wasn't expensive (which she often did but always picked out the most thoughtful gifts), Shelly was there laughing with me and my mom was standing there watching us. I don't dream of Kim often... I was so thrilled when I woke up that I had actually seen her in my dream. My dad wasn't there- sure he wished he would have been. I know that my sister was celebrating my mom's birthday and reminding me that I am here on earth with her and I need to cherish the time I have with her. I knew if I called my mom and tried to tell her about the dream that it would end with me sobbing and her trying to figure out what the heck I was talking about, so decided to spare those tears and write about it. The fact my mom was just watching us shows the best gift we could ever give her- our laughter and our love for her and each other. How could we be any other way? We learned from the best. I know why birthdays could make her sad. I am glad that she has the birthdays, though! Gives us another reason to celebrate and eat cake..or pie (that she makes, of course)!

Love you mom.... glad you are still with me. As I tell you often "don't die, I need you- and Shelly has promised to take care of you when you get really, really old. You can live with me but you only have to go up the stairs... once". :)

P.S. My mom is totally laughing right now saying "well, she's telling the truth" about the comment above!

Happy Birthday mom!

Jenny Sanford's Book

I am not sure why I feel compelled to share my thoughts on Jenny Sanford's book, Staying True, but I do.

I can't remember the last time I read an autobiography. Heck, I can't remember the last time I read anything non-fiction that didn't have something to do with education. When I saw the Jenny Sanford book at the library, I thought, hmmm..... why not?

The book is not a literary masterpiece and it is a fairly quick read (maybe 4 hours), but it is a good read. I think the thing that initially piqued my curiosity about JS is the fact that she did not stand beside her husband when he admitted to the world that he was definitely not fulfilling his duties to SC, and obviously not his family, while he was with his "soul mate" in Argentina. I HATE to see those all too-often press conferences where the man admits his stupidity, I mean "indiscretions", while the wife stands beside him in her somber outfit with a consolatory expression. I want to scream when I see politicians continue to disgrace themselves and our country because they don't think with their brain. Then to watch the wives stand there........ uh! No, thanks....... I mean, if you want another woman, leave the one you have. If you have to pay for it, you need to think about why that is. If you can't live up to the expectations set as a moral leader, then don't run!! Of course, I know women are guilty of inappropriate actions, too, but most of those running our country are men. Anyway, I digress.......... back to the book.

Jenny Sanford shares the beginnings of the relationship with her husband, Mark. It is evident that she really loved him and she truly committed to him when she said "I Do". Interesting that she points out that Mark was not comfortable with some of the vows, including the remaining faithful part. Hindsight is 20/20. It explains her role as campaign manager and confidant of the rising politician. She was a champion for him, and he paid her back by emotionally deserting her and the family.

What it very evident in the book is Jenny is devoted to being a good mother. I believe that she was/is a good wife, too. She loves her boys and really puts their best interest first. She is courageous for standing up for what she knows is right. She didn't sit and smile and let her heart continued to be trampled on while her husband tells the country of his affair. She attended marriage counseling with her husband and even let him visit the mistress.... wow- she is a GOOD woman! In the end, though, what she wanted and could give was not enough. Such a sad thing that her husband could not see what he had in her.

Many of the biblical scriptures included in her book are so appropriate. You can tell she loves the Lord and she attempts to live by the Ten Commandments. I am not sure if the title of the book "Staying True" means she is staying true to her faith, her boys, or herself, but she seems to be doing all three. While many of us try to do the same thing and she should not be commended for this, I do applaud her. In this world of celebrity, she was forced to become one, but she did what was right and moral- not what would win a vote.

I wish Jenny and her four boys well and I know they will struggle. She will be okay, though, because she has what she needs- friends, family and Him.

Put the red pen away, friends- no corrections for this blogger! Again, it's my opinion, although no one asked!

Bail out the auto industry, but let our children sink!

I consider myself a professional educator. It is my career of choice and I love it. Since the age of four I wanted to be a teacher and that is what I became. It is amazing to be in a classroom and watch the light in children's eyes as they learn a new concept or connect it to prior learning. Sometimes I look into a child's eyes and am almost speechless/breathless thinking of the awesome task that everyday I, and my fellow colleague of educators, hold in my hands.

In this time of a budget crisis, we have less money in our hands to do it with. Can you imagine that we are facing even more budget cuts? We are already operating on 71% of our budget. At what point is there no more to cut? How is it people in decision-making capacities can't seem to grasp that if we continue to short change our children, then our future is grim.

The government bailed out the automakers, the mortgage industry and many others. There is no bail-out for education. Most funding for schools is provided by the state government. When you live in a state that the governor wants to give money for parents to enable their children to attend private schools, you know there isn't much empathy for public schools and their mission.

Currently in South Carolina, the legislators are going to vote on whether school districts must have mandatory furlough days. Teachers would be furloughed 5 days and district and school administrators 10 days. Now, the task at hand is still the same- provide excellence in education and learning to produce productive citizens- we will have at least 5 less days to prepare for it. Yes- the students will have the same amount of schooldays, but those who must provide their instruction have 5 less days in which to prepare for the best for them. Teachers will still have to plan and need professional development opportunities in order to keep abreast of the educational trends, but apparently the legislators think it is okay to do it on their own time. Those who are professional educators take on the responsibility at hand and want to do their very best for our children, so they will work even more on their own time to prepare the best for them. Do you feel appreciated when someone takes 5 days of your work away along with 5 days of pay, yet the expectations are still the same? Do you want for our youth to have "dummied down" standards and expectations so everyone can rationalize cutting 5 days of work?

What about the administrators of schools? Do you truly think that schools can be totally ready for students and all the small details attended to when they have less days to do it in? Again, professional educators will be working on those mandatory furlough days- just at home, as though that is done enough already.

I have a twelve-year-old son and it absolutely makes me sick to think that because of how the government chooses to allot "our" monies, his education is going to suffer. What are his chances of competing in a global society when he gets less and less? What is future like? Who is going to compensate for the less than adequate education so that he can get a good job? Are he and his peers going to be able to become doctors, lawyers, etc., with the education they are being "given". South Carolina law only provides for a minimally adequate education and that is basically what they expect.

We live in a time of accountability in education. We have No Child Left Behind legislation, but we have less funds to do as it requires. We also get "graded" by the federal and state government on how well our school and students perform. Think about it- how many industries get graded each year? Oh... wait a minute....... creditors, banks, automakers... where was their accountability? And guess what, tax payer's money was used to bail them out!!! No grade, no accountability, but they were "saved". Imagine you had to take a test with less days to study, less materials to prepare you..... how do you think you would do? What if that grade was posted to compare you to everyone else? How would that make you feel?

That is what the legislators are counting on- educators desire for the best for our students and perseverance through the toughest of times and don't speak out often enough (probably because we are busy writing lesson plans)- and we WANT our grade to be high, so we spend the extra time and the money out of our own pockets so our school and students "score" well. The gratitude is shown by having 5 days of pay cut out of our salary?

As I blog, I refuse to revise, edit, add voice, check for conventions, organize it according to a guide, etc., so put your rubric and red pen away and just read it for content.

This is my opinion, although no one asked..........

I am going to be a blogger~

Today is the day- I have finally decided that I am going to rid my brain of some of these random thoughts and share them with the world ;). I have lots of opinions, some totally unfounded, but hey- they are mine! I often say that I have an opinion, just no one asks for it! So- without being asked, I am sharing...
I am going to blog about Jenny Sanford's book, why I love pajamas, what happens when your sister dies, lots of items on education, weight issues, and so much more! I can't wait to get this "stuff" out so maybe I can sleep all the way through the night!